omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
