In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
