if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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