do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just pee around me
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
