im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
