Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
