lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
