Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
