his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The uberlube is also flammable
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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