I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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