What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
