the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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