just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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