How'd it feel making her break her religion?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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