Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
