great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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