please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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