Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
