I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
