they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
