Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
