too bad you live with your parents still
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
