well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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