It's just like the Real World with babies
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
