I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
