Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Found your dick twin last night
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
