eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
