you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
