There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
