these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
