Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
