all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
