What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
