I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize