Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
