It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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