I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
