a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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