I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I pour the whiskey from now on
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
