very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
