omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
