Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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