fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
