That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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