so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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