My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
