8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
its liver damage thursday
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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