I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
so much tequila, so little girl.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
