She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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