GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize