His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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